Two Short Stories of Service

What would you do if you saw a barefoot homeless woman on a bitterly cold  winter night? 

My friend Estera lives in Seattle and takes the bus to work. A few days ago I received this email message from her:

“I have to tell you this while it’s fresh in my mind.  My bus goes by a women’s work-release group home.  As usual on this early-morning bus, several young women get on there and make their way to the back. They’re just behind me, talking about homeless people, I think, particularly about one woman downtown whose shoes are so small for her that she has to cut open the toes to make her feet fit in. They’re brainstorming who might have a pair of shoes that would fit so they can give them to her. Then one woman tells this story:

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What to Say When Someone Dies

I've been doing some blogging recently for the Huffington Post. My last blog entry discusses several odd experiences that Jeff and I had after we lost Reid. People would approach us, clearly wishing to give us solace--and then do or say something completely inappropriate. 

We didn't let the bereavement gaffs bother us too much. More than anything, I felt bad for the people who made them. So I decided to write something on the topic. You can find my column here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jan-deblieu/what-to-say-when-someone-_b_5774422.html

You can find my other blog entires in the Huff Post simply by typing Jan DeBlieu into the Search bar.

Friends helped plant a garden at the crash site where Reid was killed--one of the kindest and most effective gestures anyone made.

Friends helped plant a garden at the crash site where Reid was killed--one of the kindest and most effective gestures anyone made.


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The Time Crunch

One recent afternoon Jeff and I arranged to meet at a beach near our house for a swim. I had finished work a little earlier than usual, and I figured I’d be able to get there by 4:15.

By 3:30 I had checked off everything on my to-do list and was almost set to go. I couldn’t believe it—for once I was early! Here’s where I made a critical error. With a few minutes to spare, against my better judgment, I decided to check my email.

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Moving Target

Last month I applauded aid workers who stress long-term commitment to poor communities over dependence on silver bullets -- new inventions like sustainable toilets. As I wrote then, lasting change comes only from building respectful, compassionate relationships with people in need. Also, situations evolve over time, which can make solutions as difficult to find as the proverbial moving target.

 Occasionally a novel idea or a new approach really does improve thousands of lives. When that happens, there’s cause for celebration. But as a story from sub-Saharan Africa shows, the benefits may be short-lived.

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Detroit's Comeback

Recently a friend sent me one of those broadcast emails with the sarcastic subject line “Detroit is Making a Comeback.” The message contained nine photos presumably taken in Motor City. None was flattering. They showed business signs with misspellings and grammar mistakes like “We open” and “Closed—Out of Meet.” Some were offensive: a fat woman with the words “Child Support” tattooed across her buttocks, a second woman wearing large earrings that said “Trust No Bitch.”

There were more, but I’ll spare you the details. A comment introducing the pictures read, “Corrupt politics, handouts, and dysfunctional family units will get you this in a short while.”

I can’t tell you exactly what led to Detroit’s monumental problems, although corrupt politics and drugs certainly played major roles. I do know, however, that similar photos could have been taken in numerous U.S. cities—Camden, for example, or New York or Oakland. And the coal country of West Virginia, although the citizens portrayed there would be white. The Detroit residents shown were all black. Most of us seldom encounter poor people of any race, because we don’t venture into poor neighborhoods.

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